your coffee sucks
by featherbrusher
Summary: Eiji's the barista of the Cous Coussier cafe, and Ankh's the customer who insists that the coffee sucks but comes back for it anyway. Coffee shop!AU, with a teeny bit of fluffy Eiji/Ankh if you choose to see it. my first fic (ever), written because i really needed a coffee shop au but i have no one to write it for me ; u ;


Sunlight filters through the stained glass windows, casting a warm glow around the Cous Coussier café. The chairs and tables are all mismatched; some are wood, some are plastic and some just look lumpy and strange. But it works, and the place feels homey.

The coffee machines hum and the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafts through the air. It's that perfect time between morning rush and lunch rush, so everything is quiet and calm. There aren't many customers yet, so Eiji can relax for a bit until the lunch crowd comes in and makes him want to slit his wrists. He knows he'll be the only barista working the crowded lunch shift. Sometimes he wishes the Cous Coussier wasn't located so near a university. Lunch crowd is hell.

He heads over to the secluded booth tucked in the back of the café where a blond man would be sitting every day at this time. The man is dressed casually in a red shirt, black leather jacket and black jeans. He's typing away on his laptop furiously, his brows knitted together in frustration. Eiji sits down on the bench opposite him and waits for the blond to stop typing.

"Idiot, today's coffee is as bad as usual," the man snaps as way of greeting.

"Ankh, if you hate our coffee so much then why do you keep coming here?" Eiji sighs exasperatedly.

Ankh scoffs without looking up from his screen. "Do you really think I'd come here for your shitty coffee if I could get my caffeine fix somewhere else, you shitty barista?"

Eiji pouts and thinks about throwing his dishcloth at Ankh, but ultimately decides against it because asshole or not, Ankh is still a 'valued customer.' Chiyoko-san would be upset if he didn't treat the customers well.

"You should just stay in your apartment and make instant coffee if you think my coffee sucks," the offended barista murmurs.

"What did you say?" Ankh finally looks up and narrows his eyes at Eiji, who grins and backs off with a "Nothing at all!"

Ankh glares at him a little before turning his eyes back to his laptop screen.

Eiji leans back in his seat. He watches Ankh, who continues to jab at his keyboard. He props his feet up on Ankh's bench, perfectly content to listen to the tapping of the keys and Ankh's frequent "tch"s at whatever displeases him. Eiji hums. Ankh's actually really comfortable to hang around despite how fierce he usually acts.

"Pantsu, Kinpatsu, enjoying your date?" a snarky voice rings out, cutting through the quiet of the café.

Eiji whips his head around. He sees Kazari at the counter, wiping the washed mugs with a smirk directed at the two. Ankh flips him the bird, but his face seems suspiciously flushed.

"Just ignore him, Ankh," Eiji says before raising his voice. "Kazari's just upset that Uva-san didn't come by today."

Kazari hisses, "Quit your yapping, Pantsu. I am not upset at all. So what if he didn't come?"

Ankh snorts, "Stupid cat, denying something so obvious just makes you even more moronic than you already are."

Kazari 'hmmph's and stalks off to the employee's locker room to pack up and leave for the day.

Ankh jabs the 'enter' button on his laptop fiercely. A smug smile makes its way on his face, and he looks way too pleased with himself. He picks up his coffee mug and takes a sip.

Then his face crumples and he points at Eiji accusingly, "Your coffee is seriously shitty."

Eiji just rolls his eyes and catches hold of Ankh's hand. He lets out a surprised "Oh!" and tells Ankh he has girly hands.

Ankh flushes and snatches his hand back, muttering darkly to himself.

Eiji thinks he can hear several colourful insults about his coffee making skills amidst Ankh's non-decipherable mumbles.

* * *

The lunch crowd leaves a little after one thirty in the afternoon. Eiji is exhausted – there were twice as many customers than usual that day, and he was the only one manning the counter.

The tired barista shuffles back to Ankh's semi-hidden booth with two cups of coffee and slumps in his seat again, an arm draped over his face.

Ankh looks at him and smirks. "Thank you for your hard work," he says, sarcasm lacing his words.

Eiji exhales, arm still covering his face. Ankh prods at him with a finger, and Eiji catches his hand again, lacing their fingers together and holding it down so Ankh would stop poking him.

Ankh splutters, "Give me my hand back, you idiot!"

Eiji lifts the arm from his face. "No way."

He smiles at the flustered blond, who tries to cover up his red face by picking up one of the mugs that Eiji brought over. His captured hand isn't struggling anymore.

He takes a large gulp of the coffee and puts the cup down. Then he grimaces and pokes Eiji in the head with his free hand.

"Eiji, your coffee still sucks."


End file.
